Belonging in motion

On moving house, showing up, and discovering who we are through consistency

☔️ Hello from rainy Worthing,

On Wednesday, we moved from our place near Victoria Park to Wimbledon, where we’ll be for the next 3 months. Then we headed to Worthing to see what life might feel like there—swimming in the sea, trying out a CrossFit box, and chatting with a shop owner for 30 minutes (and leaving with a surprising sense of: “wow, I can just talk to people”).

We’re noticing that proximity to water and ease of community-building are becoming core decision-making factors. So in a week, we’ll head to Edinburgh to see what city life near the sea and nature looks like. And so, the search continues…

Life feels very full right now, and there’s a lot that feels alive in my system. Next week, I start my wiggling pilot, launch another training in collaboration with

Sofia-Jeanne

, continue supporting

Jonny Miller

with Nervous System Mastery applications – while tending to the groups, relationships, and communities my life orients around.

When we left our Victoria Park home next to the canal, I cried when I remembered I would no longer see the geese. Something about the consistency and reliability of my environment felt especially poignant in this place. This house held so much unfoldment and transformation over these 3 months – IVF, finding belonging, resolving long-held trauma, and birthing creative projects – and it feels meaningful to take this metamorphosis into my next expansion.

As I cried, my friend held my heart, and I felt deeply cared for. Leaning into the people, communities, and places that support me feels easeful in a way that it hasn’t before. I’m excited for where this new somatic marker of connection and belonging will take me.

Living in our Victoria Park house along the canal was a time of psychological rooting and softening. I committed to being there, taking time to notice things, and to soften into the rhythms of this home. This softening gave me a new reference point: that consistency can hold me, and that I can hold others too.

Which brings me to a reflection that’s been alive around the idea of “showing up”…

~~~

Some thoughts on consistency and becoming

After selling out my wiggling program, I reflected on why it felt so easeful. I’d simply shared it once in my newsletter, and soon after, 8 people had confirmed their place.

I think the reason it felt so natural was because I showed up.

For the past two years, I’ve been running my wiggling classes online, pretty much every week. In that time, I’ve built up a loyal group of wigglers who attend regularly, or who know that they can drop in and I’ll be there.

In that same time frame, I’ve also written my newsletters here, attended online groups I’d committed to, and maintained and deepened my relationships. All out of a feeling of curiosity and aliveness, vs what I thought I ‘should’ do. The consistency hasn’t always been perfect, but I’ve always returned.

By showing up regularly, people know who I am. They know what I’m about. They know what I care for.

So when I put out my offering, it made sense that people in my orbit said “yes I want that thing, whatever it is”, because they know and can trust what they’re getting.

More than that, I’ve also taught myself that I can show up. This was not always easy. In the past, I’d regularly cancel calls, commit to too many things and not show up, show up and then run away. My nervous system was geared for flight. Doubt about what right I had to be in the room was a consistent narrative.

And I think that came from not feeling comfortable being me. By practising showing up consistently and regularly, I’ve taught my nervous system that it’s safe to be me. People see me. People accept me. And people want to keep being around me.

In the process, I’ve also discovered myself. By not hiding, I’ve discovered more of who I am, what I like, and who I’m not. In many ways, this has felt vulnerable – being visible in the mess – but it’s been far more effective and efficient than waiting to know who I am before I show up as me.

I’m not claiming to have had any big success. I’m also not claiming that it’s about ‘me’ in some way. What I am claiming is that planting a flag in the ground – saying “this is me” – has been an anchor. It’s been an anchor in developing personal and interpersonal trust, which has yielded unfathomable returns on my relationships and sense of self.

Which leaves me wondering, what if we all committed to showing up? Fully and wholeheartedly, willing to be in the messiness and the vulnerability. Willing to learn and grow through the process of becoming. To show up for connection and life – even when it feels hard. Maybe especially when it feels hard.

~~

Huge shoutout to

Kelly Wilde Miller

and the Prismara community for enabling this transformation. A special shoutout to

Sandra

,

Teresa Hart

, Tessa C,

Lyle McKeany

,

Jennifer

, and Ben W, for meeting and seeing me in my messiness.